Only Death Awaits Us
by Inuobsessed004
Summary: We are nobodies; we cling to the ideal that we can regain our hearts. Some of us will go to any extreme to regain that sense of humanity, even if it means crossing the border between traitor and lover. Kingdom Hearts series as told through Xemnas and Saix's perspective, Xemsai, in-character as possible. Starts with 358/2 Days ends with death, be forewarned.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I am going to attempt something I know very well may be impossible. An in-character Xemsai. For such a fic I have to replay 358/2 Days, then switch to CoM cutscenes followed by KHII cutscenes and possibly fit in DDD when it releases here in the US. So here I bring you my first installment of something I hope to finish….

Disclaimer: I do not own quotes or Secret Reports or the games, Disney & Squeenix do.

* * *

Only Death Awaits Us

* * *

To my utter loathing I find a pair of sky-blue eyes looking up into mine as he stares at me listlessly, Lea standing by his side. There is a silent remembrance of that wooden keyblade and tussle between Lea and that other boy but it seems this is yet another secret we must brush under the carpet for now. The blonde boy, Roxas as he was so dubiously called by the Superior, roams around the room and goes meeting the other members as if this were some sort of social club. His lack of verbal response is a bit unnerving to Xemnas, who is always watching, every present in that golden eye peering from the Freeshooter's socket.

Xigbar looks up to watch him, giving him a careful smile, "Hey Roxas. Welcome to the program, as they say."

Program? He would describe the Organization in such a manner? Truly Number II could be so upfront about his position in the hierarchy. As much as I would enjoy boasting of my position that was slowly climbing through the ranks, it was uncertain and liable to be changed if I did anything wrong to convince Xemnas of my less than kind motives. As the first neophyte he was skeptical of my presence to begin with, let alone when my best friend traveled to arrive in the Organization less than a week later. Our friendship was put on hold as we both became accustomed to the unfriendly glances and judgmental looks of the Original Six for clinging to our past. I quickly devised a simple solution, which for now has worked, we never knew each other. If it were to be ever questioned – and the only one bold and obvious enough to do this would be Xigbar- we simply mention that we both lived in Radiant Garden. That is not unusual.

What is unusual is for a nobody to appear in Twilight Town. A certain blonde-haired nobody that looks identical to a former keyblade master in training. A scoff escapes my tightly secured lips that grabs Larxene's attention, but she merely writes it off as one of my Berserker qualities and general irritability. A humorous aspect that we emotionless beings still cling to for some reason.

"Ewww. You're awake." The Savage Nymph groans out as she leans back on a chair in the Grey Area, another lazy member that Xemnas lets slide under the radar for now.

Roxas moves to Lea for some reassurance of his purpose and Lea quickly tells him about some "big news" that Xemnas will present today. Even I am curious as I curtly cut out, "Today is an important meeting. I expect everyone to be on time."

Xemnas had merely told me of "a meeting of great importance" and "to make sure our newest member attends, after all we wish him to become assimilated into our Organization do we not?" Xemnas' enigimatic replies were commonplace now and I do have to backtrack out of my way to try to coax him into telling me more, which never works. The man was a puzzle that could not be solved.

* * *

A young 'woman' walks into the meeting while the Superior is speaking and Xemnas seems to almost…smile. Almost, that faintly terrifying visage of humanity can only mean a plot in the making. I look bored and glance briefly to look at Lea but he doesn't look bothered, his emerald orb merely signals for me to dig deeper and find out why an Organization of Thirteen has now a _fourteenth_ member.

* * *

_A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, "No. i," lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose._

"Xion." The name rolls off my lips as the Berserker glances at me, piercing golden orbs burrowing into my own eyes. I smirk inwardly at the inquiring look that covers the malicious ideas swarming in feral eyes, "That is the replica's name. Treat it as you would any other member, we must keep it away from Roxas for the time being. As much as I trust Vexen's abilities, I do not want the keyblade master's nobody becoming attached to anyone as of yet."

"Attached Xemnas?" The Diviner played with a stray cerulean lock and fingered through the open Mission Reports that Xemnas had left on his desk. That was the ploy he used, making the papers visible to Seven so that he didn't try to pry his eyes around at his bookshelves, which held his research, or his desk, which held a special charm he had to keep with him always. There were several things he didn't understand, that charm for instance. Or that rising sensation of two syllables that could have fit so snugly instead of Sora when he met Roxas. Two syllables that just appeared out of nowhere when he held his arm out to retrieve the nobody's new name.

Another could be my unnatural familiarity with Seven, like I had always seen a head of blue hair in my eyesight. So strange and yet I can confess these ramblings to no other member but the friend that lies in the room each day, waiting for me to pour my inner thoughts onto it for it to respond back. That is my only consolidation that my existence has some meaning as the others hold much more memories than I.

* * *

"Surely, you don't mind showing Roxas here the ropes?" My tongue feels heavy in my mouth as I utter such fake words about such an annoying grievance. As Lea looks down at the blonde I argue inside my head about telling him the truth of Fourteen's origins. But that smile Xemnas had when he made me assign Roxas and Axel tells me that he wants something to happen and that we are all just players in this game of his.

It's insufferable. This shamble of a life we're forced to dance around as each of us tries to kill the other. Lea never seems to mind though, no, if there is one thing I know he doesn't notice it's that the longer I stay around Xemnas, the less human I become. Roxas moves past to converse with Zexion and one of the oddest phrases escapes the Schemer as he contemplates, "Number XIV's name. I wonder if it bears some significance."

It is then I am aware of the split in the Apprentices. It is Vexen that is Xemnas' brains and it is Xigbar who is his eyes-or eye to be more accurate. It appears that Zexion has been left out of the replica program for this specific event, which then brings up more questions.

Why?

Xion? What is so special about that? Take out the X and you have ion, noi? Nio? I cannot ponder such useless thoughts now….

"No way you're gonna forget _his _name, right? Now let's get moving." My attention is brought back to the present as Lea educates the boy on remembering Xemnas' name. The way he stresses the word is a bit questionable but in-character for Lea at this stage and even Zexion doesn't bat an eye at his outrageous antics. Lea summons and portal and they are gone, leaving me with the replica in the room and the Schemer.

I cannot leave the replica with someone that can easily unravel its mystery with a few probing glances and I send it to Vexen when he arrives from the labs. I do not care for posterity at this point and I glare back at Vexen as he slinks into to the basement with a look of curiosity. I know the Schemer's prying eyes are at my back and I return to my room, sitting upon the white sheets and glancing at the full window with a sense of longing. There simply is no light in this world.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I am going to attempt something I know very well may be impossible. An in-character Xemsai. For such a fic I have to replay 358/2 Days, then switch to CoM cutscenes followed by KHII cutscenes and possibly fit in DDD when it releases here in the US. So here I bring you my first installment of something I hope to finish….

Disclaimer: I do not own quotes or Secret Reports or the games, Disney & Squeenix do.

* * *

Only Death Awaits Us

* * *

He adjusts the zipper on his cloak, gloved fingers brushing over the dusted metal as he flicks it impatiently, watching a few stay members tumble into the room. The first is Vexen, who takes the corner of the Grey Area and stands, pondering and pacing, muttering to himself with phrases such as "A keyblade wielder, this could prove quite enlightening" and then going off on a tangent. He has learned by now it is best to leave Four alone to his musings as the Nocturne plops on a chair to his left. The cerulean-haired man raises a brow, watching the nimble fingers tune and pluck a few strings before starting up a soft melody.

Marluxia silently attempts to stalk his way into the room and the Berserker lifts his eyes to match the glistening baby-blue orbs that hold the contact for a moment before they divert to the ground and he hovers by the couches. The fact that he had won the staring match was enough and a confident smirk lingered on his lips before he watched the blonde-haired boy wander into the room and look around. His dazed look and bed-head appearance left much to be desired in the Organization member department but otherwise he looked a normal teenager with a wake-up call much too early.

Roxas peered around before landing his eyes on the Berserker as he approached him, knowing not to look directly into the golden feral orbs, as Axel had directed him that Saix was somewhat like an animal and thought that motion to be a challenge and to instead focus on the bridge of his nose or his cheek. Staring too much at his nose made Roxas focus on the scar, which was probably not the best option to stare at- he imagined a lot of people had bothered Saix about it and he wasn't going to be at the spikey end of the Claymore.

"Today Marluxia will be joining you Roxas."

The pink-haired assassin nodded and stepped forward, eyes sizing him up and comparing him to his somebody without the blonde's knowledge, "Are you ready yet or do you need to stock up?"

Roxas nods, touching his elbow in an insecure manner, winding his arm back to fix a sore joint- another trait carried over from his other. Marluxia opens a portal and they both step inside, the piercing golden eyes never leaving the traitor's back, knowing why he would wish for Roxas to join him or destroying Roxas so that his own 'future keyblader' may be of use. They both share plans for the Organization and neither plan includes the other member.

They both when the time comes will attempt to step over the other's body in the claim to the throne. Yet it is Saix that sits so close to the throne's holder that the Assassin gives pause. It is not only Saix that Marluxia has to fear, but the strings he may pull and his own puppet to do the dirty work for him.

Saix hands out two more missions before finding himself gripping the clipboard tight to his chest as he makes his way down to the largest room, with the dark wooden door and shining handle promising acceptance yet creating nothing but hesitation. He knows better than to burst in like the others and knocks, hearing the deep voice bellow back, "Come in Saix."

The Diviner pauses before dipping his head in a submissive gesture when he enters and refocuses his attention on the man behind the large desk, "Your Mission Reports Xemnas." He sets them down neatly and turns them to face the other, noticing the gloved fingers hold his own on the papers, keeping him there while Xemnas continues the conversation, "And Roxas?"

"Is on a mission with Marluxia, I thought he would be able to give proper guidance on his purpose for the Organization and Kingdom Hearts." The hand releases.

"I see. And tomorrow?"

"I've scheduled Zexion to teach him about different heartless." The gloved hands clench momentarily as he pushes the chair away and starts to pace the room, letting out a loud hum, "Are you not satisfied with my choice?" He is too late to school his expression upon realizing he had insinuated Xemnas could actually have an emotional reaction to his response.

The older man let out a hollow laugh, a shadow of a smile appearing on his dark lips before fading, "No, if anyone can teach about heartless it would be Zexion." He picks a book from his shelf and flips through it, "Saix?" There is no hesitation as he is sure Saix's attention need not be grasped, "Watch over the replica and Roxas. They are our most important members for now."

Bile rises in his stomach but it is not an emotion, he simply nods his head in acceptance and tucks the clipboard under his arm, "I will see to it Xemnas." He turns and leaves the room, returning to his own and sitting down to contemplate his next move. He raises his hand to the wall next to his bed and knocks twice, giving one sliding motion against the surface.

_**He might be on to us.**_

Journal Entry- _Xion is being monitored. Roxas, meanwhile, has begun his training exercises. It is imperative we keep Xion from having undue contact with Roxas until we are certain it will perform as expected - which will take another 10 days, if Vexen's convictions are to be trusted. As for the Keyblade master, Marluxia will no doubt be keeping an eye on him_.

* * *

His fingers drum on the thick spine of the book while he waits for the results of today's mission with Roxas, the Schemer no doubt teaching him the ethics of work and respect. He notices some activity out in the other rooms and from his window he can see Lexaeus in the Grey Area, secretly waiting from his companion to arrive back and to join him in the journey back to the labs.

Marluxia is also still roaming the room, awaiting eagerly the progress of Roxas for his future endeavors in the uprising against his leadership. Xemnas smirks as he leans back in the chair, fingers intertwining as he watches the pale-faced Berserker resume his spot in the room and wait for the two members to return. When the portal opens up and Roxas steps out he sees both predators eye him then each other. Saix calls Zexion and Roxas over in a major powerplay, watching Marluxia glare at him out of the corner of his eye. Once the report is handed in Zexion leads the way to the labs with the Silent Hero trailing behind.

Roxas is taken away by Axel, who has garnered the neophyte's attention with his constant antics. The Superior smirks as he doesn't need to see expressions to notice the shift in Seven's demeanor as the two exit, closely followed by Marluxia to consult with Larxene. He waits for the sound of the knock before sitting back in his chair, "Seven, you may enter." He looks back at the golden orbs that hold his own for a few bitter moments before retreating to the papers he holds. The clipboard is passed wordlessly between them as Xemnas flips through the results and nods, "I see, how interesting, he shows a need to satisfy basic orders."

"It would appear so." Saix notices that the man seems almost pleased, knuckles relaxing their grip on the paper, "Xemnas-"

The amber orbs flick back up at him, showing that he is listening, "Yes?"

"-I have not been able to travel to other worlds recently with the training of the keyblade wielder, could we perhaps spare later this week?"

Xemnas searches the golden eyes for a sign of malicious intent and sees nothing, he reasons it to inner loneliness and Eight's duty as Roxas' new guardian, "It is not an outlandish request. I don't see why not." He attempts a friendly smile that causes the hackles on the blue-haired man to lower and settle, both maintain another session of silence.

"Thank you Sir, for taking time out of your busy schedule." There is no hint of sarcasm in the remark and the drop of a respectful title tells Xemnas more than emotions ever could. In this tightly wound string of relationships and hierarchy therein lies the problem….

The golden eyes reflect the uncertainty of the moon as they help to plunge them both deeper into the abyss.

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End file.
